Friday, February 25, 2011

Identity- Part I

One of the biggest challenges I faced being a multiracial child was my identity.  As a young child, I was CONVINCED I was adopted.  In my mind, I did not look like my dad, and I did not look like my mom.  I did look like my brother, so I assumed that I was adopted with him.  As I grew older, I did realize that the reason that I didn't look like one or the other parent is because I was a blend between the two.

Then, as a teenager, I tried to look for outside role models of a person with mixed Asian and Caucasian roots like me.  I wanted to know what I would look like as an adult.  Where I would fit in society.  I didn't find any.  There were times where I would stare in the mirror, just trying to imagine what I would look like when I grew up.  I would pour over pictures of my chinese mom and my caucasian grandma, just trying to see what type of woman I would eventually look like.  One thing I wish I had was a person before me that I could look to to answer some of those questions in my mind.

Today, I see a lot of mixed Asian/Caucasian children.  I see in them the child I was.  I wonder if they look at me and see what they might be.  I wonder if they have the same identity issues, and if seeing me helps with that identity.  I wonder if their parents look at me, trying to picture their children in the future, trying to picture their grandchildren when the look at mine.  

Who was your role model?  Did you have an example of a multiracial adult that you looked to?  What do you think about when you see children in your same situation?  If you are the parents of multiracial children, what are your thoughts when you see an adult with your child's same background?  I would love to know your thoughts.

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